


Of Cruel Fates and Backrubs

by HellsPurestDevil



Series: Project Mythicus [7]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Back Pain, Backrubs, F/M, Feelings, First Time, Modern Era, Philip and Theo are 17, Philips brother and father are dicks, Pip is a shy boi, Plot With Porn, Post-Reynolds Pamphlet, Running Away, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual innuendos, Sleazy brothers, Social Awkwardness, Sophmore, The Reynolds Pamphlet, Underage Sex, asshole ex's, highschool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 17:22:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsPurestDevil/pseuds/HellsPurestDevil
Summary: It had started as a back rub...that was all. Why did fate make him fall in love with her only to throw his life out of whack





	Of Cruel Fates and Backrubs

High school was supposed to be four years filled to the brim with a variety of opportunities. Full of parties, sport championships, and girls. It was supposed to be his time to shine as the quarterback of the varsity football team, supposed to be his time when party invitations would fall into his lap. It was supposed to be his time to be the most popular kid in school or something close to it at least. But none of that was what sophomore Philip Hamilton was experiencing.

None at all

He was not the quarterback on the high school varsity team, no closer to getting a scholarship to some football team like his older brother James then he was winning a Nobel Peace Prize for whatever reason. Hell he didn’t even **_play_** sports. He wasn't in any clubs like his elder brother William had been in. He was never invited to parties and was nowhere close to being the most popular kid in school. In fact if it wasn't for the rare instances he actively answered questions in the middle of class, people probably wouldn't even had acknowledged his existence. And that went nearly double for his life outside school. He got high enough grades to get him through his classes, but nothing that would grant him scholarships, or his father's praise for that matter.

He had recently gotten a job over the summer, a double shift at the local packaging plant. He worked in the loading room as a bagger. Basically, his job entailed moving 50 to 60 pound bags of product around all day, from the assembly line to wherever they needed to go. Transfer trucks, train cars, pallets, it varied, really, depending on where it needed to be shipped.

The work was tedious. Mundane. He did the same thing, day in and day out, and sometimes he thought he'd go insane from the monotony of it all. But the pay was decent for a job, especially for a kid still in high school. And other than the repetitive nature of it all, and the fact that sometimes he went home feeling like he got ran over by a damn semi, the job wasn't all that bad.

It did however have its downsides...or at least downsides that lead to upsides

_ _ _ _ _

It was around 9'o'clock at night when Philip trudged his way up the dark streets of his neighborhood. Reaching the house that was posed in the middle of the sidewalk, Philip let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he saw his father's car missing from the driveway. Wandering through the house, Philip dropped his bag on a beaten chair in the small kitchen and reached for the note lying in the middle of the table.

_Dear Philip_

_Your father is working late tonight and Ms Handle she needs somebody to sit her kids this evening and Ill be back around 3am. There's sassage if you want it in the fridge. I love you honey._

_Mom._

Philip quirked a weary smile, happy that for once he'd have the house all to himself. He kicked off his boots, covered with the white gold of the kaolin powder that had worked its way out of bagging, and left them by the front door.

While he was completely exhausted today, and much rather would have been fine with just climbing in his bed and knocking out until the next day, he forced his feet towards the bathroom, peeling out of his powdered stained clothing and walking into his shower, because he'd made plans tonight, or rather a special someone had made plans for him.

She'd called him as soon as he clocked out and insisted on coming over with pizza and a movie. Going on and on about the fact that they hadn't seen each other in days due to him working doubles and her being tied down with home-work. She didn't have class the next day and she knew he didn't have work, and she'd wanted them to spend the evening together, watching movies and pigging out, just like they'd done many times before.

When you first glanced at Theodosia Burr, you honestly would not have suspected she would care for the company of someone like Philip. She was popular, a member of the drama club with beautiful, thick, curly brown hair and stunning dark skin who sat beside him in his history class. Underneath all that however, and despite her popularity She was a bit shy herself, from what he noticed, keeping to a small group that consisted of two other girls, a loud and opinionated blonde and a brunette who wasn't far behind her in that area. It was the Brunette, Frances, who had introduced the two together during the school year.

Frances Lauren's had been a childhood friend of his, not as long as Georges de Lafayette had been, not even close. If anything her and Georges were closer, hell they even had dated a few months before. The only reason he knew her was because her father had been a longtime friend of his own father. She had introduced the two of them late in the eighth year.

They hadn't spoken much that year. Though Theo would smile and offer him a hello some days when she took her seat. Not a fake smile, but a warm, genuine smile that seemed, for some reason or another, to show she'd been happy to see his awkward ass in class each day.

But that was about as limited as their interactions had been at the time. Occasional smiles here and there on her part. Though there was the fact that sometimes if he missed class, she'd been the first to offer him her notes from the day before. He'd take them and grunt out an almost unintelligible thanks to her.

However, that all changed their ninth -grade year. Theodosia early in the year had started dating some older boy. A senior on the football team, who's name currently slipped his mind, but from what little Philip had seen of him, he seemed like a grade A asshole. He was arrogant and loud and Philip hadn't really understood how the two ended up together. She was quiet and sweet. Though he was almost positive it had something to do with the fact that Andrea, the blond girl Theo often hung around, was dating the dudes best friend, Eric Blake.

Anyway, during the late fall months of their freshman year, Philip had been making his way to his locker, which wouldn't you know it, happened to be next to hers. He saw her, standing there with that boyfriend of hers, arguing. He couldn't hear everything that was being said, but it was obvious he had wanted Theo to do something she wasn't comfortable with. She'd told him no and to leave her alone. Philip watched out of the corner of his eye as she turned and went to put her bookbag in her locker, assuming the asshole had turned and stomped off.

But he hadn't. His angry fist connected with the locker, landing directly next to her head, Philip had continued to watch as the older boy firmly gripped her wrist, hissing something about not going anywhere and her being his.

It had been too familiar to him. Growing up, his older brother James would hold parties in their house when their parents went away,

Of course, James wasn't perfect.

_ **  
Far from it.** _

He partied a lot. A hell of a lot. Sometimes when Philip had to be up for school the next day, twenty or thirty people would be piled in their backyard drinking and carrying on. And there were women in and out of the place all the time. All the damn time. Philip doubted James could remember half of their names. He doubted even more that his brother cared to. James was a womanizing pig. He always had been. But James also had a temper went it came to women. More then once he had seen him raise a hand towards one, but was quickly curbed by Philips other eldest brother William.

And it was with that thought of James in his head that had caused him to snap. Though he was probably half a foot shorter than the football player at the time, he'd laid an ass whooping on the football player in front of almost the entire ninth grade, before being peeled off by Georges, who then proceeded too take his place in beating the football player up.

He'd ended up suspended for his good did, though. He and The football player both, three days each. Georges was let off the hook. Philips father had been pissed, but on the second day of his suspension he'd had a knock on his door a little after 3:30 in the afternoon. The knock had surprised him, because his parents were at work and Philip himself never got company despite the occasional visits from Georges.

When he had gone to the door Theo was standing there awkwardly fidgeting with her hands and smiling at him. Without saying anything other than a thank you, she pulled him into a hug, one he didn't return, then kissed him on the cheek, leaving him standing there, eyes wide, cheeks beet red, mouth slightly gaping, as she shyly waved goodbye and muttered she'd see him around school.

Shortly afterward, another incident* had brought them closer. And she and him had actively started seeing each other. During school she pretty much clung to his damn hip. She'd started sitting with him at lunch or walking up beside him in the halls and following him to his next class, eventually coming to his house after school and spending most of her free time with him. She stuck to him like white on rice from that day forward. And he quickly learned that for someone who seemed so damn quiet, she sure could yap your damn ear off once she felt comfortable around you.

She dominated most of their early conversations, receiving one word responses or grunts. At the time, he didn't figure she would really be around all too long, he only assumed she was hanging around him as a sort of body guard in case her Ex came around causing trouble again.

Eventually, he found himself growing comfortable with her presence and enjoying her company. And even when her Ex moved on and started dating another freshman, Theo didn't high tail it away from him either. Instead, they grew even closer, And that had been that. She'd become his best friend during his freshman year. His confidant. The person he could tell anything to. And he knew that he was that same person to her. They knew things about one another no one else did.

She knew about his issues, demons of his own no one else knew about. There was an understanding between them. A deep level of care and trust between the two that didn't exist with anyone else in their world.

He had a soft spot for this girl. Always had, thinking back. He'd do anything for her. To see her smile. To know she was happy.

Anything, such as, staying up and watching stupid movies when he'd rather be asleep, like he'd agreed to do that evening.

_ _ _ _ _

  
Theodosia was carefully making her way up the steps of Philips front porch, a box of pizza in one hand and a rented movie in another. She didn't bother knocking on the door. That was something she'd stopped doing a long time ago when it came to going to the Hamilton home. Both Philip and his mother had let her know she was welcome there any time.

Though, there was a downside to walking into Hamilton household without knocking. That downside being that you just might get an eyeful of James upon entry. The older Hamilton when he hit a rough patch would often hold up in his parents house, and had a strange fascination with walking around stark naked. And he carried no shame when it came to someone seeing him that way. On the contrary, he'd grin at you lasciviously and lick his lips, then proceed to ask if you wanted to "give him a hand" so to speak as he cupped himself.

James was lewd and crass, confident and outgoing. He had been since the day she'd met him. And in some ways, Theodosia found it hard to believe he was really related to Philip at all. The younger Hamilton was shy and timid, extremely unconfident and terribly awkward. She couldn't picture ever opening the front door and walking in to find Philip butt naked in all his glory.

Okay, maybe that was kind of a lie.

She could picture it, she could so picture it in her head. Because Philip was gorgeous in his own way. So…Freaking…Gorgeous. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't attracted to him. She had been almost since the first time she'd met him back in eighth grade. She'd had a school girl crush on him back then. His ripped jeans, cut off shirts, shaggy hair, and pouty face had appealed to her, though it put most people in their grade off.

It's why she'd always smiled at him or offered her his notes if he was absent. Hoping to strike up some conversation with him eventually or forge some sort of connection.

But between the way he only offered her one syllable responses or how he averted meeting her eyes for the longest time, like he'd turn to stone if he looked in them, she didn't much think she'd had a chance and she'd given up on him. Moving on in high school and swooning for the senior football player who came after her, her of all people. A mere freshman. It had made her feel good. Attractive. Wanted.

Yeah, that worked out for her just _**great**_. What an asshole Edward had turned out to be.

But in hindsight, maybe it really had worked out well for her. Philip jumped in to defend her and it ended up sparking the wonderful friendship she shared with him today. A friendship she wouldn't trade for a thing.

Although, sometimes, she couldn't help but let her mind wander and think about him in other, more intimate, ways. She'd tried, more than a few times, to test the water and see if maybe he ever wanted more than that with her as well. A flirtatious comment here. A dirty joke there. A hug she let linger a little longer than necessary. But he never seemed to take the bait. Not once reciprocating in flirty banter or making a sexual innuendo of his own.

Though, he had clung to her longer than normal a few times and ran his hand through her hair on more than one occasion. But she dismissed it because each time he'd been comforting her when he did. She'd essentially given up on the idea of him ever finding her the least bit attractive and having any sort of shot with him as anything other than his best friend.

And maybe she was okay with that. Maybe it was for the best. If they ever did anything, if they ever took that leap and things didn't work, she might lose him forever. And she wasn't sure she could handle that. He meant more to her than anything in this world, and she couldn't imagine her life without him.

But still, it never did stop her from admiring him

Theodosia shifted the DVD from the hand she'd been holding it in and tested it on top of the pizza box as she entered the trailer. She shook her head at the chalk covered boots Philip had left by the front door. A dust trail of white lined the blue carpet.

She could hear the water running, and with no Philip in sight, she quickly deduced he was more than likely cleaning up from his hard day at work. She walked over to the coffee table, placing the pizza box and DVD down. A magazine and an ashtray covered with the guts of a split cigarillo caught her eye before she walked away. "Hamiltons" She muttered to herself, then rolled her eyes. She grabbed two Styrofoam cups and went and fixed them both something to drink while she waited patiently for Philip to get done with his shower.

But by the time she was finished getting everything ready, Philip still wasn't out and the water was still running. She sighed as she made her way through the narrow hallway, stopping and knocking on the door of the only bathroom in the house. "Stop thinking about me while you're in there, will you?" She teased from behind the door. "I promise, the real thing's a whole lot better."

Philip had been in the middle of washing his hair when he heard Theodosia knocking and making her little joke. He grinned and shook his head at her comment, instead of blushing like he would have if she'd been able to see his face, causing droplets of water and suds to splash against the shower wall. "Cut that shit out." He yelled over the sound of the water. "Washing my damn hair. I'll be out in a minute."

"I'm sure you are." She chuckled. "Now hurry up, I'm ready to eat."

Philip scrubbed the rest of the suds out of his hair and toweled off in the bathroom, leaving his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor. He draped the damp towel across his waist and headed to grab a clean change of clothes out of his room, which happened to be right next to the bathroom. He turned and glanced down the hallway after stepping out of the bathroom, seeing Theo leaned back on his couch, feet crossed and resting on the coffee table. She grinned at him and then whistled at the sight of him only in the towel.

He felt his face flush as he scurried off towards his bedroom. Once he was there he quickly shut the door and slid on a pair of boxers, then a pair of cargo shots. He didn't bother with a shirt. For one, because even though it was spring it was hot as balls outside and they didn't have central air. His father had been too busy to actually fix the AC. And for two, it was Theo and she'd seen him shirtless hundreds of times by now. He didn't feel as self-conscious half naked in front of her as he would have in front of anyone else.

He made his way towards her, plopping down on the end of the couch she hadn't been sitting on. "Thanks for picking this up. What do I owe you?" He asked, reaching forward and going to open the pizza box in front of him.

"Don't worry about. It's on me, this time." She insisted, reaching forward herself and grabbing her own slice. She took a bite and then grinned at him. "You can pay me back by taking me to some fancy restaurant next time we hang out."

He snorted at her comment as he shoved the rest of his slice in his mouth, chewing greedily, then snatching a second slice. "How was class today?" He mumbled with a full mouth.

"It was alright. We're studying Hamlet in World Literature. I'd actually enjoy it if my teachers voice didn't sound like a screech owl."

He gave her one of those half smiles of his. "You're such a damn nerd. Why the hell do I hang out with you?"

She could literally feel her stomach bubble with excitement at that smile of his. At the way his eyes shone brighter as he teased her. And she hated herself for feeling that way about him. For how long she'd been feeling that way about him. But she couldn't stop it. She'd damn sure tried, tried for as long as she could remember.

She pushed the feeling aside and buried it deep down, something she'd gotten very good at doing, then she returned a playful smile of her own and swatted his leg in mock offence. "I'll just go home." She pouted. "Since I'm such a nerd and you don't like me."

She leaned up and reached for the pizza box. "And I'm taking this with me." He grabbed her wrist and yanked her to him, she yelped and her head fell on his bare chest.

"You ain't going nowhere, damn it. I got a shower and stayed awake for your ass. Now you gotta stay here and entertain me." He looked down at her carefully, studying her face so he was sure she'd know he'd only been kidding, which he was sure she did after all the the they'd been friends, then he gave her another lopsided grin. "Besides'" he said taking in another mouthful of pizza "you can't take my pizza. I'm still eating it."

She pinched him hard, earning a yelp from him this time. He jumped and released her from his grip and she leaned up, but instead of getting up to leave, she grabbed the DVD. She popped it out of the case, then leaned over toward the entertainment center, bent over and put in the DVD player. Once the DVD was in she made her way back to the couch, opting to take her seat on the end she'd originally been sitting on, rather than lending against Philips chest like she had been moments before. Though, she had to admit, she preferred the latter position to the former.

He glanced over at her once she took her seat again. He chewed a hangnail on his thumb, then asked. "What movie did you get, anyway?"

"Henry and Mack Make a Porno."

Philip hadn't been eating anymore, but he almost choked on air at her words. "You...you brought... porn? For…Us?...To watch?"

She laughed so hard at that she felt like one of her ribs might crack, by the time she regained her composer, she was still smirking at him.

"What's so damn funny?" He demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Still grinning, she responded, "It's not porn, Philip. It's a comedy. That new actor from the south side in it."

He shifted and cocked an eyebrow at her. "What's it about?"

"Two best friends who are broke and make a porno." She shrugged, then winked at him. "You never know, it could be us one day. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

He stared at her, watching the twinkle in her eye as she kept her gaze trained on him. Finally, he just rolled his eyes at her. "Stop it." He muttered, grabbing the remote and pressing play.

The two of them finished off the pizza and watched the movie in relative silence. About a quarter of the way through, Philip felt the mixture of exhaustion of the last few days and the satisfaction of having a full belly creeping up on him. His eyelids started feeling heavy, his back was aching in the sitting position he was in, and he wanted nothing more than to stretch out and nod off. He glanced over at Theo. She was on the other end of the couch, looking bright eyed and wide awake. She must have felt his stares after a moment because she looked over at him with curiosity.

"You alright?" She asked, noticing the tired look on his face and seeing the sheer exhaustion in his eyes.

"Mmm good. Just tired. Doubles are kicking my ass, and my back hurts like a mother fucker."

She shook her head. "How many of those bags have you been carrying at once?"

"Many as I can."

"Philip." She scolded. "You're gonna hurt yourself. What have I told you about doing that?"

"It really ain't no big deal." He dismissed. "All the guys in the loading room do it, saves time to carry as many as you can. You get more done."

She was gonna make a point that half the guys at the packing yard doubled Philip in size age and strength, but knew there was no point in arguing with him about it, though she did worry he was going to pull something one of these days. She reached up and grabbed the remote, pausing the movie. She could hear the sleepy sound in his voice as he spoke and she hated feeling like she was keeping him awake. "You wanna finish this tomorrow?" She suggested. "You seem really tired."

Philip shook his head

"Are you sure?"

Philip nodded his head

"Well in that case come here" She patted her lap.

He arched a brow at her. "You want me to sit in your lap?"

"No." She chuckled lightly. "Lay down. Stretch out."

He hesitantly moved to stretch out, intending to put his feet in her lap.

"Not like that." She corrected. "Lay the other way." She awkwardly motioned from his head to her lap. "I can rub your back for you if you lay that way."

Philip rose his brows in surprise, and started nervously raking his teeth over his bottom lip. She was wearing a pair of cut off shorts, and he'd be damned if they weren't some of the tiniest shorts he'd ever seen her wearing the entire damn time he'd known her. If he moved to that position, he'd basically be laying on her fully exposed thighs.

She saw the hesitation written on his face. Noticed him chewing his bottom lip, which was his go to response when he was anxious about something. "It's just a back rub. And it's just laying your head in my lap. No big deal. I'm not pulling my shorts down and asking you to chow down on me."

.... _Actually_

Theo shook her head, "Come on, we've slept in a bed together before. I was just laying on your chest earlier. Stop being so shy."

He swallowed hard and nodded. He could do this. It wasn't a big deal at all. It was just a back rub. Right?

Hesitantly, Philip very carefully maneuvered himself around so that he could lay on his belly and rest his head in Theo's lap, sputtering as pieces of curls made their way into his mouth.

He tried to school his features so that it would seem like this wasn't a big deal, just like she'd said. But inside, he felt like his heart was going to explode right out of his damn chest it was pounding so hard.

Because this was a big deal. He couldn't trick himself into believing it wasn't. It was a huge fucking deal, to him at least.

He'd like her for the longest time now. Though, he wasn't sure he could pinpoint the exact moment he'd come to that realization himself. And maybe that's because there wasn't one defining moment that stood out from the rest. Making when it did happen not matter much too him. All he knew was that it had happened, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it by the time he'd realized it. He'd been in far too deep by then. Spending so much of his time pining for her in his most hidden thoughts. Quietly longing for her, for a moment like this to present itself.

God knows he'd dreamt of his face in her crotch enough times that this moment should be like grasping hold of a golden ticket

Only now it was more like someone hanging a damn piece of the sweetest, richest chocolate pie you'd ever come across in your life right in front of your face and knowing you couldn't eat it because you were extremely diabetic and it would put your ass in a coma.

Cause as much as he wanted her, as many times as he dreamt about having her, he knew, in reality, he couldn't never really have her.

There's no way she'd ever want somebody like him. Not really.

She was going to college. She was going to be somebody. He wouldn't ever do anything more with his life than working in some plant or factory, like he did now. He barely scrapped by his freshman year with B+ and B-. She walked across that stage with high grades. Sure, she joked with him all the time. Jokes just like she'd made while he was in the shower earlier. And sometimes, he thought about responding to them, channeling his inner James Hamilton (as much as it made him wanna vomit) and letting her know just how damn much he did want her.

Like earlier, he could have told her to get in the shower with him and show him just how good the real thing is when she made that quip.

But, of course, he hadn't, and he highly doubted he ever would. He could only image the look of horror and disgust on her face if she knew he was being serious. She probably wouldn't speak to him again. She could do better than him, and he knew she knew it. He just didn't wanna have to see the look in her eyes or hear the pity in her voice when she had to tell him that.

As he moved his head into her lap, his face coming to rest halfway against those short-ass cutoff jeans she had on. and halfway against her soft, smooth legs, he sternly reminded himself to fight every urge he knew his body was about to have in reaction to being in this close of proximity to her. In such an intimate position with her, all alone in this house, as she was about to start running her hands up and down his back.

Unbeknownst to Philip, Theo had considered screwing with him once he rested his head in her lap. Making a comment about how he should be un-bottoming her shorts with his mouth right about now, or running a teasing hand along the back of his neck. But the unsure look in his eyes before he fully rested his head let her know that she probably shouldn't do that. He might jump back to the other side of the couch if she did.

It was funny. At the beginning of their friendship he'd been spooked by the slightest touch by her. Freezing and turning the brightest shade of red if she so much as brushed his arm. But over time, the more comfortable he became with her, the more receptive of her contact he had become. It wasn't unlike him to pull her in for a comforting hug if he knew she was upset about something. Or to pull her close to him like he did earlier when she made a silly joke or was threatening to "leave" in a mocking manner like she'd just done. Hell, sometimes if she was tired and they were sitting together she leaned her head on his shoulder. This wasn't all that different in her opinion.

"Fuck." He moaned as he felt her fingertips begin to lightly trace their way from his shoulder blades then down his spine.

Theo had tentatively begun to start on that back rub she promised him when she heard him let out that satisfied moan. "Feel good?"

"Mmhm." He mumbled as she continued to stroke his back. He felt himself relax and he allowed himself to fall into the moment and enjoy it. "Feels damn good.

She smiled to herself as she could start to feel all of the tension and apprehension he'd initially been showing start to drain away. She continued to gently run her fingers up and down his skin as she reached for the DVD remote with her free hand and pressed play.

She let herself get back into the movie, smirking now and again when Philip would occasionally let out satisfied grunts or hums. One's that made her stomach flip flop and ignite longing deep within her as she thought about him making similar noises for other reasons...

She was certain he had no idea what was going on in the movie and that he was half asleep on her by now, but she didn't really mind that much. They were still technically spending time together and she was just happy to be with him.

After a while she maneuvered her free hand, which had been sitting on the arm rest of the couch, and began to use it to tangle her fingers through his shaggy hair. It was still a bit damp from the shower he'd had earlier, but it didn't stop her from repeatedly curling her fingers through it. She knew it was also a relaxing gesture, one that would bring him even more pleasure than he was already feeling, and she had truthfully thought about her hands in his hair so many times that it was thrilling just too able to do it and feel confident he was relaxed enough at the moment to let her.

_God, she was pathetic_, she thought to herself, though it didn't stop her from what she was doing.

In actuality Philip had been wide awake. He didn't have a damn clue what was going on in that movie she'd brought over, but he didn't give a flying fuck either. He was just enjoying that back rub she was giving him. How perfect it felt for her hands to caress his bare back. How much it made him ponder how amazing her caressing other things would feel.

And before he knew it, his body was reacting to those drifting thoughts he had and he could feel the strain of his erection painfully pressing painfully into the couch cushion. He was so thankful that he was on his stomach right now and she couldn't see anything.

When he felt her fingers run through his hair for the first time he had to bite his bottom lip stop himself from crying out like some little bitch. Was she trying to make him have a stroke over here?

He shifted slightly to gain some relief from the strain of his Cock poking straight into the couch cushion. He was going to have to take another shower when she left. A long, cold one.

When he shifted he'd pulled his hands out from where they had been hidden underneath him. He brought them up without thinking about it, bringing them to rest on top of her thighs.

And that's just where they stayed, to start with anyway.

But before long, the way she was touching him, intimately caressing him in all of the right places, it became too much. He wanted her so damn bad right now. And if he was more experienced, more confident, he probably fucking would have just gone for the button of her shorts with his teeth at this point. But he wasn't that man. He wasn't his brothers, he didn't have the confidence, and he never would.

But that didn't mean he was a saint and a complete gentleman either. By that time, all of the blood was completely drained from his brain and he wasn't thinking clearly, actually he wasn't thinking at all right then.

Almost involuntarily, his thumb began running circles on her inner thigh. Lightly, teasingly stroking her skin as his thumb moved itself higher and higher.

Theodosia felt her body jerk slightly with the first, faintest hint that Philip was touching her. Drawing slow circles over her skin. She was sure it had to have been a mistake. An accidental movement on his part. One he'd realize he made any moment now freak out. So, she kept herself still, waiting for his reaction. Waiting for him to pull away.

But he didn't. Instead, he was creeping his way higher and higher up the inside of her thigh, now only mere inches away from reaching...

She froze, then let out a whimper as his thumb traced the edge where the frill hung from where her jeans had been transformed into shorts. Her heart was hammering in her chest as she fully realized he'd been doing that intentionally.

He stopped what he was doing just then, glancing up at her to gauge what she was thinking. It looked like he was trying to distinguish if what he'd just done had earned a cry of pleasure or one of fear. His eyes were darker than they normally were, undeniable want, no need, written in them, but there was also a hint of uncertainty there. Like he was terrified of crossing a line she didn't want him to cross.

But she'd be damned if she didn't want him to cross it. Just the almost innocent, gentle way he'd been touching her was enough to have her craving more. And if she didn't let him know she was okay with this now, she feared the moment might disappear forever.

She gently tugged on the hair at the back of his head, then scrapped her fingernails down his spine, trying to encourage him to keep going.

He sucked in a deep breath and moaned as he felt her nails rake the skin on his back, his blood pulsed at the feel of her tugging his hair that way. She was giving him the green light and he knew it, and in the worked-up state he was in, he couldn't find a reason to not keep on going. She licked her lips, looking down at him expectantly, and that's all the permission he needed to pick things back up.

He let his hand fall below her knee, slowly letting it work its way back up. Gently massaging as he traveled his way back up towards her thigh. He placed a few small kisses on the inside of her thigh, gently sucking and nipping at the skin there, earning him more of his own satisfied grunts and responses from her. He finally pulled away, putting a halt to the gentle assault of kisses he'd been planting there. Letting his hand slowly, carefully sweep its way up until he was teasing her on the outside of her cut-off jeans. He'd never been more excited and terrified at the same time in his life. He flicked his eyes up to meet hers, taking pride in the sweet sounds escaping her lips.

He felt her arms tugging on his shoulders, heard her breathe heavily as she pulled him up towards hers. And he obeyed, not fighting her, but unsure of where this was going.

Once he was sitting up, facing her, she placed a hand on either side of his face. "Kiss me." She begged, greedily pull his face towards hers.

He nodded eagerly, letting his lips come crashing down on hers. Sloppy and demanding at first. Hungry, yet slightly awkwardly. But she slowed her pace, savoring the feel of his tongue dancing with hers, and he followed suite. Kissing her softly and gently for a while, then growing intense and greedy once again. This time moving more carefully, with more grace and rhythm than he had at first. And before either of them knew it, he was leaning into her, pressing her back into the couch until he was fully on top of her, his erection pressed firmly against the outside of her shorts as she rocked her hips back and forth against his in perfect motion.

For such an awkward, shy, flighty person, he sure didn't hold back once he got going. Her shirt and bra were both off now, his hands playing with her breasts, gently squeezing and cupping while he nipped at her neck. Had Theo knew that all it would have taken to get to this moment was nothing more than a back rub she would have pitched him on the offer sooner.

Lips danced down the arch of her neck, teeth nipped skin, the sound of her moaning into his ear as he suckled her neck had to be one of the most beautiful things he'd ever heard in his entire life.

He had no fucking clue how this had all escalated so fast, and he was still in utter shock that she'd wanted to do this with him, but he wasn't going to question it. Not right now. He was just thanking his lucky stars that it was actually happening. That it wasn't some wet dream he'd wake up from any second now. This moment he'd been fantasizing about the last few years was finally happening for real. Nothing else mattered to him in this moment.

Normal thought process evaded him. He wasn't thinking about possible ramifications. Not the fact that the front door was unlocked. Not the fact that he didn't have a condom with him, she had huffily mentioned being on the pill before hand, but he barely registered.

All he was thinking about was her and how she tasted, and smelled and felt. She was still lying on the couch as he hovered over her now. The sight of her lying there in only her underwear was breathtaking to him. He raked his teeth over his bottom lip as he admired her form.

She could feel his gaze lingering on her and all of a sudden, she started feeling extremely self-conscious and exposed. Her face flushed and she was about to move to put her arms around her breast and look away from him. But the sound of his mumbling made her stop in her tracks and turn back to face him.

Philip had been sitting up on his knees, running both his hands up her ankles and legs, moved them up the sides of her rib cage and up to her chest where with the thought of covering up had been thrown out the window, Theodosia was already arching into him as he kneaded her breasts where her nipples had hardened into tight little buds.

Theodosia held onto his upper arms for support as her breathing turned into pants. Her head lolled back and her eyes fluttered closed when he gently pinched her nipples between his fingers. With her neck fully exposed Philip leaned down once more and began to kiss, nip, and bite at her neck, the thick scent of her cocoa and Shea butter cream strong in his nose. The continued assault on her neck had sent Theo gasping for air as her body moved against his. By now her body was throbbing in anticipation and she looked up at Philip either pleading for more, or pleading for mercy. Philip only answered her by leaving a trail of kisses down her abdomen and dipping his tongue in her navel which had her moaning loudly. Her blood ran hot and thick in her veins as warmth gathered to her loins. By the time Philip reached down to the spot just below her navel, heat dripped from her.

Philip was slow in taking off her soaked panties. When they were finally off, panting, Theo rested against the couch cushions and balanced her upper body on her elbows. Opening her thighs, she freely exposed herself, allowing him to see her freshly shaven. The faintest of jet-black curls topping just above her clit.

A hand reached forward to caress the glistening dark lips of her sex before Theodosia promptly shut her thighs, eliciting a groan from her lover. Listening to his agitated moan made her giggle before she decided to tease him a little bit more.

"_So? Are you gonna take it_?" She asked with a seductive husk in her tone.

Staring down, Philip grabbed her knees.

_No holding back now_.

He separated them to get another look at the gleaming wetness.

_ _ _ _ _

The sound of harsh grunts, breathy sighs seemed too come and go as fast as they had started.

Philip cursed as Theo with the last of her strength placed her hands on his stomach for leverage and rose her hips up before slamming back down and eliciting a strangled moan from him. Sweat was pouring down both of their bodies as she hovered over him after they were done.

He felt like he could stay like this forever. Buried deep inside of her, her fingers digging scratches into his chest. But soon the sweet tightness only moments before relinquished its grip on Philip, and Theo feeling soreness in her hips, panted as she slowly got off him.

Shaky and lightheaded, Philip propped himself on his elbows, pushing himself into a sitting position, which placed Theo nicely in his lap. He leaned in and kissed her again, then they both laughed when beads of sweat dripped from his hair onto her face.

When he pulled away from the kiss, he kept his head buried into the crook of his neck.

"You were right" he told her between his pants.

"About?" She asked, still high from the exhilarating experience.

"About the real thing being better."

She brushed her nails against his neck and her grin widened. "It was pretty great."

"Pretty great? Shit, that was fucking amazing for me."

She giggled and planted her hands on his shoulders, pushing him off of her. "It really was. For someone so quiet I had no idea you had such talent with your mouth." She joked, then turned to gather her discarded clothing from the floor.

He blushed and reached down for his own clothes. He found his boxers first hurriedly sliding them on to cover himself. In the after-glow, he found he wasn't quite as confident as he had been in the heat of the moment and was left feeling exposed.

As he was going for the top button on his cargo pants(they had been flung across the room and somehow ended up on a lampshade) , the front door swung open, causing Philip to freeze in place as his jaw dropped.

_Fuck his parents, that's all he needed._

"Well, well, I'll be damned!"

_ **Fuck it was much worse then his parents.** _

James Hamilton gawked as he stood in the doorway of his living room. He had been grinning widely at his little brother, reeking of cheap booze, and at precarious situation he'd just stumbled in on.

Philip had been halfway to fully pulling his pants up, Theo was tugging a shirt on while she wasn't wearing any pants, he hair wildly sticking up in every direction. He turned to the woman that was in tow behind him, his friend's sister, who was an older blond lady with huge tits who was wearing skimpy clothes. "Darling, we gotta get the fuck out of here. Seems like my little brother's finally getting his dick wet and we interrupted." He winked at Philip, before giving Theo an up and down glance followed by a grin that made her skin crawl.

With a slight nod head, he turned to close the front door and step outside. As he walked away, he slurred, "Sorry about that. By all means,pretend we were never here."

Philips face was flaming. How could he had forgotten about **_him_**!?!

He quickly buttoned his pants and turned to look at Theo. He couldn't imagine how embarrassed she was. That had been horrifying enough for him. Panic settled deep in his chest when she began pacing frantically, her hands covering her face.

"Damn James knows how too ruin a good time don't he."

It was less a question and more a bold statement. Philips mouth had caught up before his brain could, but the bold statement had made her stop pacing at a speed that would have probably would have dug a hole through his living room floor.

She had stared at him incredulously, not saying anything for a while. And Philip feared that maybe she was regretting what they had just did. The reality of what they'd just done setting in with her and she would regret and go and leave and probably never want to talk too him ever again.

He was ready to start spouting out apology after apology when it seemed that she went to speak. What came out of her mouth however was the most busted out string of laughing, while she shook her head and Philip felt the fear of disdain disappear.

_"You fucking Hamiltons ..."_

Philip felt nervous laughter bubble up in his throat, then turned his head to look at his TV, the movie was over, and the clock on the cable box read in neon green

_ **2:20am** _

A hand touched his shoulder. He grinned up at her and leaned in and placed a peck on her hand. He squeezed her hand and then went to stand up. "I'm exhausted. I'm ready to knock the fuck out."

She smiled weakly, happy that things worked out, but not in a hurry to leave him either. "I'll see you tomorrow then? I can drop by after lunch if that's okay with you." She said making her way to the front door.

He swallowed hard, his throat feeling thick at the words that were about to leave his body as he stood up and met her halfway too the door.

"Um, Theo?" He said, standing still as she stopped too turn and look at him.

"Huh"

Philip swallowed hard again, hearing a click in his throat.

"You can um, Stay with me tonight. If you want. I mean...it's late and my mom will be home soon, could just tell her we got some homework done...decided on pizza and a movie, it got late and you decided too stay...."

The last part came out like a rock in his throat. Philip chewed his bottom lip nervously, and felt his stomach drop as she turned to look back at the front door. He awkwardly glanced down at his bare feet.

_Way to go Philip you ruined it_.

"I think I would like that"

The grin on Philips face could rival that of the rays of sun when he heard that.

A sudden burst of courage scorching in his veins, He stepped forward and took her hand, too quickly for Theo to yank it away, and bowed over it like he’s stepped out of a historical romance novel, turning it palm-up and brushing his lips over the sensitive skin of her wrist. Old-fashioned with a twist,

"And you called me a nerd for liking Hamlet"

Philip rolled his eyes, lips still on her wrist, before he dropped the bravado and lead her upstairs to his room.

Halfway up the staircase, Theo grabbed his hand. He turned, raising an eyebrow, did she change her mind?

"Can I ask you something" she said, looking up at him curiously.

"Sure"

She seemed to hesitate, then decided she should have asked this question before.

"How many girls you slept with?"

He snorted at that. "None why?"

She shrugged. "Honestly, before tonight, I would have said none too. I've never heard you talk about any and we both know how shy you are…but you seemed to…know what you were doing."

Philip laughed quietly, then thought about his reply carefully:

"Guess it really must be in the genes"

_ _ _ _ _

Theo practically feel asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Philip had tried to fall asleep but too many thoughts ran through his head. So he left her asleep and went downstairs to greet his mother when he came home.

  
Halfway down the stairs, James called out to him from the living room couch where he was sitting, smoking a cigarette. Philip gritted his teeth as he walked over and sat down beside his older brother who was smirking at him.

_"She finally made a man out of you I see."_

Philip said nothing, taking out his own cigarette from the pack he kept under the couch cushion.

"Was it good?"

Philip pulled a long drag off of his cigarette. Still not a word was uttered.

"Damn boy, you forget how to fucking talk? Did her pussy cat get your tongue?"

"Shut up." He muttered.

James chuckled. "So, tell me how it happened? How'd that pretty little thing ever decide to let your ugly ass touch her?"

"I hurt my back at work, she offered to fix it, no big deal."

James coughed out smoke as a laugh pushed its way out his threat.

"That little mix seduced you! I didn't know she had it in her?"

Philip snorted. "What the hell are you talking about? I made the first move."

"Oh hell no you didn't! She did with that damn back rub she offered you."

"Nah, that didn't mean nothing. She was just being nice because I had a long day."

"Pffft. No way. It's the Back Rub Theory, little brother. Automatically leads to sex. Every damn time."

"Stop. It does not."

"Does too. I can't name a damn time it ain't worked for me. Some girl ain't in the mood, you offer up a nice relaxing back rub and the next thing you know they're on your dick like white on rice." James took a swig of the beer he had on the coffee table and Philip squinted at it

Go figure he'd be drinking at almost 5 in the morning.

"That's ridiculous" he finally scoffed.

"Every. Single. Time. Bro, And if she hadn't of given you one tonight, your limp-dick pansy ass wouldn't have ever made a move. You'd be the next forty-year old virgin. Knitting sweaters and shopping for tampons and shit."

"Whatever man". Philip said stubbing out his cigarette just as the front door swung open.

_ _ _ _ _

Over the next few weeks, Philip and Theo had begun to hang out a lot more than usual, and there had been a dramatic change in the boy's personality. He became more outgoing. He talked more, he hung out with others outside his normal circle.

Then came that day.

The day Philip knew was coming, but completely tried to block out the possibilities of it actually happening.

After 5 years of keeping it a secret for his father, Alexander Hamilton, on one hot spring day, published a ninety-five paged article about his long going affair with a Ms Maria Reynolds.

Philip had not known that his father had done so. Until he was in the subway station on his way home. And a deep feeling of dread started to fill in his stomach, when suddenly his phone began to buzz out of control. First it was William, Then it had been James, then came Georges and Theo who had been blowing up his phone, asking him if he had known about the article going around.

Even standing in the overcrowded subway car, Phillip felt like all eyes were on him. In reality, he knew that nobody knew him, that nobody here knew his life was coming apart at the seams.

Though that still didn't stop him from wanting to jump off at the next station and have a quick nap on the tracks. He seriously considered, for a moment, just calling his father, asking him what the fuck it was, exactly, that he thought he was doing. That could wait until later, though. For now, Phillip contented himself to scroll through the link Theo had sent him.

_I owe, perhaps, to my friends, an apology for condescending a public explanation. A just pride, with reluctance, stoops to a formal vindication against so despicable a contrivance and is inclined, rather, to oppose it to the uniform evidence of an upright character._

Oh, _**of course**_ If he had to admit he was wrong, he'd have too say it in a way that no one could understand. If Phillip had been speaking his thoughts right now, he'd have been snarling at his father. It's hard to imagine despite all that he had done, him snarling at his father. But he'd sure like to have done it right now. He read on.

_The charge against me-_

There had been no charges against his father, He could be so paranoid, sometimes, though.

_-is a connection with one James Reynolds, for purposes of improper pecuniary speculation. My real crime is an amorous connection with his wife, for a considerable time with his privity and connivance, if not originally brought on by a combination between husband and wife with the design to extort money from me._

Phillip's mind rushed, moving at a mile a minute, to make sense of what he was reading. That his dad had had an affair, that, _**maybe**_, he could wrap his head around. But that his father had gone ahead and continued the fucking thing, even after he swore to Philip it was over when he first caught them together. Only now he learned presumably he paid this woman to have a affair with him. Phillip felt like he might be sick if he looked at the damn page any longer.

Turns out, he didn't have to wait much. The train lurched sickly to a stop and Phillip practically jumped onto the platform. He looked around nervously, assessing his dilemma, about damn ready to have a panic attack

Having just turned seventeen and still attending high school in the city, he hadn't moved out yet. It didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that the house was going to be a complete shit-show for the foreseeable future. A thousand thoughts ran through his head at once, but his automatic thought had been about his mother.

_Oh god his mother._

The thought of her had been enough to change his mind. And soon he was on the next train heading home.

By the time his feet had hit the front porch he could already hear the yelling and screaming from the opposite side of the door. Shaking, he opened up the front door and in the middle of the living room, under the sound of a news outlets advertising the newly-broken scandal (as if he needed reminding), his brothers father and mother stood arguing amongst themselves.

Just his luck he had walked in just as his father was finding reason to start complaining about him yet again. It was common for his father to try and justify his actions by blaming others, and while Philip honestly did not wish to figure out how his name ended up in the conversation this time, he watched, dawning horror spreading across his face at the things his father had said about him.

He had spaced out shortly after that, flight wining over fight, and he bolted his way into his room as quickly as he could on shaky legs and slammed the door behind him.

_ _ _ _ _

He skipped dinner that night. Didn't talk to anyone. His phone buzzed lightly in his pocket, but he chose to ignore it as he sat in the darkness of his room.

Thinking

Debating.

Weighing out his options.

His bag had been dumped unceremoniously on his bed, loose papers, notebooks pencils and random miscellaneous objects scattered hither and yon on his floor and across his sheets. The bag lay open, forgotten for the moment, as he sat pressed against his bedroom wall.

In his hands was a Skippy-Peanut Butter Jar. Inside the jar, wrapped up in rubber bands was nearly five-hundred dollars, part his pay, part birthday money and part random money he received as thanks for doing favors for people. Philip shook the jar, the loose change jangling harshly.

He remembers the Post’s headline as he watched the money in the jar, his father’s face and Maria Reynolds’. He had seen her before. A long time ago, long enough that he had forgotten about her. All he can think of now was how strange it was to see his father next to someone who was not his mother.

He hugged the jar tightly to his body, silent tears behind closed eyes leaking down his cheeks as he sighed.

At twenty after twelve that night, Philip shoved clothes and the money in the Skippy-Peanut Butter Jar in his empty bag. And had silently climbed out his window. Ashamed, shrugging a little, and then shivering, he took his bags and went out. The cold of the air seemed to lift him bodily. The moon was in the sky.

On the slope at the end of the road he began to run, he could not help it. Just as he reached the end, where his car seemed to sit in the moonlight like a boat, his heart began to give off tremendous explosions like a rifle, bang bang bang.

He sank in fright onto the road, his bag falling about him as he pressed against the cool metallic door of his car, a birthday present from his mother. His phone fell out of his pocket, and as he looked down at his phone, he scarcely saw the unread messages from Theodosia.

He covered his heart with both hands to keep anyone from hearing the noise it made.

But nobody heard it.

His back hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> When Philip was Younger, around the age of 11, he caught his father cheating on his mother with a Miss Maria Reynolds. Philip had come home early then his father had expected, and had spotted the two together.  
A rocky relationship with his father, due to his clairvoyance, now turned rockier cause Philip now realized his father wasn't as truly loyal to his mother like his mother thought. But Alexander had begged Philip to keep quiet about the relationship, promising to break off the relationship with the woman.
> 
> And poor little Philip, he'd do anything for his fathers approval despite how his father must feel about him.  
So he agrees to keep the secret. But then the fights between his mother and father were getting slightly heated cause she's been questioning him on why he's been spending more hours at work, or going out at odd times throughout the day
> 
> Philip feels terrible for not telling her sooner, when Alexander publishes the Reynolds Pamphlet  
The fight between his mother and father after she finds out was one of the worse ones because it became the breaking point for a lot of things, cause we all know when Alexander is backed into a corner, he says some really stupid shit
> 
> So odds are somehow Philips name comes up in the argument, Alexander says something about him that just sets Philip off, maybe about how he's the talk of the office cause congrats Philip hadn't grown out the imaginary friends phase like they had hoped, and it just grates at alexanders gears to hear people talk behind his back cause he's the man with the weird son and being a man trying to keep up appearances to get what he wants he doesn't know how to properly handle it, cause while he's use too the smack talk when it's about him, he's not sure how to handle it when it comes to his kid.
> 
> And it also doesn't help that cause he's "different" Philip can't make friends with his colleagues kids cause they just run and tell their parents about the Weird kid they met in school and while some parents are alright with it cause Philip isn't a bad kid, others aren't cause to them Philips not normal, so it leads to a lot of ostracizing. And after a long time of hearing it over and over, Despite Eliza claiming that there's nothing wrong with Philip, Alexander outwardly blurts out that the guys in the office are right in their saying of Philip being a freak. And thats what breaks Philip, years of trying to gain his fathers approvals despite how hard it is because of his quirks, down the drain in a few simple words, in Alexander basically saying in not so many words that Philip is freaked, Philip knows right there and then that despite everything he does he'll never get his fathers approval. And that's all he ever wanted.
> 
> Now Philips impulsive when it comes to how he deals with stress and heartbreak. So who's too say after hearing his father come out with that, the thought crossed his mind automatically that maybe it would be best if he left home for a while. 
> 
> And so he and Georges just up and leave.
> 
> And that turns out to be the one thing Philip regretted most in his life.
> 
> Cause he hurt his mama doing that. And he would never forgive himself for doing that to her


End file.
